I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my liver is dry heaving
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
