There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
