You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sorry about my life...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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