So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can you bring me the toilet please
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
