Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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