i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
