He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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