Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
