just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
