The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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