North Korea, Best Korea!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
