I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
