He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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