is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
