Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
