I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
