marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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