Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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