I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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