I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
