ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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