It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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