it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Barsexuality is the new black.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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