Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
