My room smells like vodka and shame
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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