I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Screwed.edu
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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