I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you had me at cake vodka
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
