I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize