i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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