I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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