whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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