i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize
