I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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