His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
