I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Mom said you looked used
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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