SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My breasts were aching with rage.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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