Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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