Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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