does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
