Got a toothbrush?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
