just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
