YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
