? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
