I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
