I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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