I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
