The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
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I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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