its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
