My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
