The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sext me about skeletons
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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