Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
