mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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