its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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