This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
