Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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