hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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