I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
