walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
