Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize