just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize