What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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