I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
These tits shall not be calmed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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